Still Figuring It Out

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Bookish girls grow up with the dream to write for someone other than themselves.  Or at least I did but I didn’t always.  There was a time when I feared anyone reading what I’d written. 

They won’t like it. They’ll trash it. They won’t understand. What if they think I’m emotional or what if they think I’m not emotional enough? What if they think I’m bitter?

Such thoughts ran rampant in my mind. Not just as a child-just discovering how to express herself through written word- but also as an adult still figuring out adulting. Adulting?  What does that even mean?

Recently, I’ve experienced what I’d like to call an awakening. It’s like so many things that I could’ve benefited from hearing when I was younger has found its way to me now. I suppose had i known them what I know now I wouldn’t be the person I’ve become. I’ve been through so many uphill battles (in my young life) and am still climbing, surviving life’s highs and lows. It does help to have others along the way.

Several people have come into my life in the past year or so. I’m so grateful for & very blessed to have them in my life. They’ve helped me to grow, see things differently & improved my life. The power of the Internet has allowed some of these people to impact my life from across the globe.

A chat with a friend just yesterday was a reminder that supposedly and should’ve been’s are myths that are imposed onto others to get things done according to a certain timetable that’s not their own. Another friend does daily reminders telling others, They are enough. Reminders are necessary from time to time. Where would we be without them?

I started this post with something else in mind but I’m seeing that it’s morphed into something else entirely. That’s the thing with plans I suppose…they’re always liable to change. Years ago, especially those teenage years I would’ve loved to proclaim I had all the answers. Now I know that anyone proclaiming to know everything doesn’t know much of anything. It’s okay not to know something because it’s never too late to learn. It’s okay not to have something figured out because as you live, you also learn along the way.  I’ve been a pretty patient person for the most part of my life-believe me it’s been tested so much-I’m constantly being reminded by others and reminding myself that God has a plan and it will unfold the way it’s supposed to [Not before].

If you feel behind ask yourself, Who says you’re behind? Remind yourself :

We’re all on a different path.

Do me a favor: Think of 3 books [preferably not by the same author or in the same genre]. Do those books have the same characters? Same plot? Same conflict? Same setting? The answer may be yes but each book is different. The same thing can be done with movies, music or food. They may be similar but they aren’t identical. In the case of food- some foods have a different effect on your body. Some foods are spicy or sour while others are sweet or maybe salty. As you’re thinking things over, think of yourself and a few friends as you would of the books [or movie, music, & food]  you chose. Yes they may be very similar but they aren’t the same. Even if you chose work by the same person (author, musician, actor, director, chef) it may be similar but as the person grows so does their work. There may be hints of the same elements but it’s not the same.

Okay by now you’ve probably gotten the point and then some. I tend to get carried away sometimes so bear with me.

Do you know how to become the most amazing, coolest, blessed person? Look in the mirror, repeat that daily (feel free to change it up if you wish) believe that daily and live that daily. Don’t worry about not having it all together give it time, be patient, have faith. Things may look bad right now but trust me a right turn will be made in due time!  If you believe someone else has it all together perhaps the path that they’re on makes it appear so. You never know! Perhaps to them or someone else you appear as though you’ve got it all figured out. We’re all on different paths [in different lanes] and that’s okay. It’s okay if you’re figuring things out. I know I am and I’ve come to terms with that.

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