I go halfway down the stairs-What was I going down here to get? I go to the kitchen- Was I here for food or to get something? I just had my keys. Where did I put them? My room/ car/ locker/purse/bag was just clean! What happened? How did things get this bad? Oh no I’m so late! I was trying so hard to be on time. I read this book why can’t I remember what happened?
I know how this can be.
You’re going through life with this struggle and you want so badly to name it but you have no idea what it is. People will think something’s wrong with you. People will misunderstand. They’ll label you so many things: lazy, hardheaded, unruly, mean, absent-minded, dumb, selfish, etc. Trust me none of those things are true.
When I was younger,it took a long time to figure something was wrong. I’d say after my mom passed away I felt my worst and spent a lot of time crying. When I was asked the reason for my crying my response was usually, I didn’t know. Sometimes that was true. I didn’t know why I cried. That answer was normally met with puzzling looks or frowns. It wasn’t until my early teens that I was sent to counseling. The first diagnosis was depression.
Of course, I was depressed. My mom, my first best friend had passed away & no one cared to see how I felt. No one talked about her. It was like she was a secret or a swear word never to be discussed. The next diagnosis I received was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Now this diagnosis is a whole other post entirely.
I was depressed, traumatized and yet something else seemed to be wrong. It wasn’t until mid-teens that I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) at the time I was told to leave the H out it but now I suppose by US labeling it’s classified as ADHD-Inattentive.
I came across a post on a Facebook page where someone had been diagnosed with ADHD recently. She was expressing her joy of finally knowing the name of her struggle. I can definitely relate to that. After struggling with something for so long it can be quite frustrating for it to be a gigantic question mark in your life.
So to have a name is such a revelation, an elation and it’s freeing because then you can cope. You can take steps forward. You can try to do the best you can and seek the help needed.
There’s so much power in names (which again, a whole other post entirely).
Have you had a problem you couldn’t name? Were you glad to figure out what it was called? Are you still struggling to figure it out? Feel free to comment below or if you’re more comfortable reach out on Twitter.
As always thanks for reading! Have a spectacular day!