Once upon a time, I pursued a Master’s degree. I studied abroad. Online that is. I couldn’t afford to travel. It took a month for me to come to terms the program wasn’t for me. I wanted so badly to complete the program but eventually I withdrew.
During my first courses I had headaches, I lost hair, I made myself physically sick. I thought I had to finish. I could feel the pressure weighing down on me to succeed. In my mind, if I quit I was a failure.
When I withdrew I still suffered because I thought I was a failure. What was I gonna do? How could I explain to my family? I just decided not to tell them for my own good reasons. Anyway I wouldn’t know what to tell them if I had chosen to share my decision. I had, I have no idea what I wanted/want to do and it took me a year of reflection to realize I had to be honest with myself. I had to be okay with what I’d done. That’s fine but where do I go from there?
I’m still figuring things out. I really hope anyone reading this is not beating themselves up over their choice(s). I did. I beat myself up for a long time. If you asked me now I’d tell you I think I made the right decision.
If you’re not into something 100% it’ll take a toll on you. It’ll show one way or another. If you try hiding it, just remember those around you may sense you aren’t genuine.
As far as explaining things to people, I am learning there’s no need to justify YOUR choices to others. It’s your life and how you live it, the choices you make are up to YOU
Thanks lovely readers for reading this. I appreciate it. Have you been in this situation before? Care to share? If so sound off in the comments.